Ranking all 19 (!!!) Marvel Films

It’s time to fulfill our promises. We have watched and rewatched all 19 Marvel films (not really), for 36 painstaking hours, and have come up with the “official” and “definitive” rankings. As we close out our Marvel trilogy of stories (until Avengers 4), it’s time for your favorite Marvel nerds to argue about the true rankings of the films, whether Iron Man or Captain America was right, and who the best Chris in the MCU is. Remember, these are just opinions, and if you don’t agree with us, you are wrong and should be ashamed.

Rules: The rankings are based on the average of Carson and Fatima’s individual rankings. Tiebreakers were decided between Carson and Fatima and will be discussed within the discussion.

#19: Thor: The Dark World

Carson’s Ranking: #19

Fatima’s Ranking: #17

C: I have a confession to make. I don’t remember a single thing from this film. What was the plot again? There’s a brief image of Loki sitting on a throne in my head. I think Jane and Thor kissed maybe. I honestly don’t know.

F: I remember Jane and Thor’s break up and Loki “dies.” Umm… that’s about it. .

C: Did we at least get a shot of Chris Hemsworth abs? If we didn’t this movie was a total waste.

F: I think so! I remember a vague shot of sweaty Chris. Also I think Loki dresses as Captain America at one point?

C: And that’s a brief summary of Thor: The Dark World.

#18: Thor:

Carson’s Ranking: #17

Fatima’s Ranking: #19

F: Honestly, this movie was as bland as a saltine cracker that has been left out in the sun for a week.

C: What the heck does the poster tagline even stand for? “Courage is Immortal.” Thor never lacked courage. This headline makes absolutely no sense.

F: I know right! It has absolutely nothing to do with the movie whatsoever.

C: At least we’ll have the iconic gif of Thor slamming his cup down and yelling “Another!” Sorry for the hate Thor.

F: For a movie based on a comic written by a bunch of pot-smoking hippies, it definitely deserves the hate! Except for you Ragnarok! You’re doing amazing sweetie.

C: We’ll get to Ragnarok much, much later.

#17: The Incredible Hulk

Carson’s Ranking: #18

Fatima’s Ranking: #18

C: Despite us both ranking it #18, it beat both Thor movies in the tiebreaker, because… honestly, I don’t know why. I think we were feeling the hate for long hair Thor.

F: Maybe we should rerank because… I don’t feel anything towards this movie. I’m indifferent.

C: That would require too much effort. The problem with these lower echelon Marvel films is that they aren’t bad; just aggressively mediocre. Does anyone remember a thing about this film? I forget it exists in the MCU because it has Edward Norton playing the Hulk.

F: I remember Stan Lee’s Cameo! By the way, Mark Ruffalo is the only Hulk I care about.

C: Edward Norton- #notmyhulk

#16: Avengers: Age of Ultron

Carson’s Ranking: #15

Fatima’s Ranking: #15

F: This one is only low because it killed my baby Quicksilver. Also because the entire storyline just makes me angry.

C: I remember being in awe of the trailer when it first came out. The delivery of Ultron saying “There are no strings on me” gave me chills. I also remember being in the theater after Ultron delivered his fifth quip of the film and wanting to cry about the wasted potential.

F: I remember exactly what moment you are talking about in the trailer. It gave me so much hope for the movie, until I actually watched it. I like the idea of someone other than Thor being able to lift the hammer. I gasped when Steve Rogers made it move.

C: Steve Rogers is too pure for this world. Also, the less said about the Black Widow and Bruce romance, the better.

F: He is not! Steve Rogers is a pretend goody two shoes. Black widow and Hulk are sweet! I hate how the romance progressed so quickly, but it’s cute.

C: There was no chemistry! Also, let’s save that Captain America argument for a future ranking.

F: Your face has no chemistry.

C: :’(

#15: Iron Man 2

Carson’s Ranking: #16

Fatima’s Ranking: #13

C: As we close out the unabashadley mediocre side of the MCU, let’s look at Iron Man 2. There’s not much to say honestly. The movie didn’t make any progressions on Tony Stark as a character. Didn’t Tony learn to humble himself in the first film? What was the villain’s name again? What was the point of this film? Black Widow was a shell of what she would become! This movie serves no purpose.

F: It may serve no purpose but was lots of fun to watch! This showed the most playful yet disastrous side to Tony. I am aware that he was kind of a jerk throughout the movie but.. HE WAS DYING! Cut him some slack.

C: We all knew Tony wasn’t going to die. This is the definition of an empty calorie movie.

#14: Ant-Man

Carson’s Ranking: #11

Fatima’s Ranking: #13

C: I love Paul Rudd, and would love to place this movie higher, but it’s ultimately held down by being an origin movie with a terrible villain. That’s never a great combination. This is certainly one of the funnier MCU films, however, and Rudd’s charisma was perfect for the role.

F: I think I have only seen the first half of this movie but from what I saw all it had going for it was it’s humor.

C: Yet you still ranked it above other movies.

F: Yes, because I felt like it.

#13: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Carson’s Ranking: #12

Fatima’s Ranking: #12

F: Wow, we actually agreed on this one. I loved the humor in this movie because it showed the Guardians working as a team in a way none of the Avengers films ever did. The sarcastic comments and never ending jokes kept the movie lighthearted in contrast to the oddly dark storyline. Also, Rocket is adorable.

C: Who else is excited for Guardians of the Galaxy 3 featuring Rocket and…. Oh wait.

F: :O That’s not nice. Poor raccoon.

C: Time for actual commentary: We’re getting to the section of the list with films I enjoyed! Watching Star-Lord deal with his father issues was undoubtedly the best part of the film, but it hit too many familiar plot points from the first film, with the team learning how to operate all over again. Also, just to make sure Marvel knows you got the point of the film, be prepared to hear about how they’re a family at least 10 times in the movie. However, Chris Pratt is the best, so this gets the tiebreaker over Ant-Man.

#12: Doctor Strange

Carson’s Ranking: #14

Fatima’s Ranking: #7

F: I loved this movie honestly. That might be because I love Benedict Cumberbatch, the only Sherlock I acknowledge. The movie itself was pretty awesome and it had amazing effects. Plus, “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain,” is iconic now.

C: How sad is it we never got a hint of Cumberbatch and Downey both being Sherlock in Infinity War?

F: Well actually, I was watching an interview with Benedict and Tom Holland and Tom threw a fit because the Russo brothers scrapped a line referencing that because Benedict thought it was too corny! The only time I will be upset with Benedict Cumberbatch.

C: Speaking of the actual movie, I’m just sick of origin stories and I wasn’t impressed with the story. Cumberbatch is still great though.

#11: Iron Man 3

Carson’s Ranking: #7

Fatima’s Ranking: #14

C: I love Iron Man 3 more than most. The movie was a deeper look into the psyche of Tony Stark, and this film solidified him as the MCU’s most interesting character. As someone who was unaware of the Mandarin’s status in the comic books, the twist was funny to me, even if the villain replacing him was lackluster. This movie lives and dies on Downey’s performance, and he is spectacular.

F: I actually agree. I didn’t love the storyline but Downey’s acting was awesome. Downey is always a win though…

C: So why do you have it so low again?

F: Because I didn’t love the storyline?? I just said this Carson!

C: Well then this is just repetitive writing and we’ve wasted our readers time.

F: If they are reading this article then they obviously don’t care about wasted time.

#10: Captain America: Civil War

Carson’s Ranking: #3

Fatima’s Ranking: #16

F: Okay, this is gonna be a long one. I love Captain America, but he was a little jerkface in this movie! However, in retrospect it does create a nice contrast for his usual character traits. His heart of gold finally proves itself to be a flaw when he BETRAYS Tony for Bucky.

C: I actually agree with you, but for the sake of this article, I will play devil’s advocate for Captain America. The government is never to be trusted, and signing with them would just be making sure superheroes served the government’s best interests. My real gripe is with you Fatima. #16. Are you kidding me?!?!?!? What is wrong with you? This movie was amazing. The conflict between Tony and Steve was great, and the film had some of the best action and emotional scenes of the MCU. The airport scene anyone? How about when Tony tells Steve, “I was your friend too.”

F: It annoyed me.

F: Actually I have more to say! The airport scene was mediocre at best. The fighting was good I will give you that but it all reminded me of high school drama. They couldn’t just sit down and talk about this like adults? NO let’s be dramatic little babies and throw a fit in the parking lot!

C: Imagine calling your superhero movie Civil War and then having it be a two and half hour diplomatic discussion.

F: I get that it was a movie and it has to be dramatic Mr. Snarkypants! However, it just got on my nerves. Plus my poor baby Tony Stark deserves better.

C: All that discussion and we haven’t even mentioned the great debuts of Black Panther and Spider-Man. There is no way this is the fourth worst movie in the MCU, and I’m upset at this movies placement on this list. Be ashamed.

F: Okay I am feeling very attacked and I don’t appreciate it. Spidey and Black Panther did have pretty epic debuts. Perhaps I was a little harsh on the ranking. Blame Steve Rogers.

#9: Guardians of the Galaxy

Carson’s Ranking: #5

Fatima’s Ranking: #12

C: I can not believe you ranked this film so low. What’s not to love? This is a fun film that introduces five great and charismatic characters, while managing great action and heart. Chris Pratt is a teddy bear, and is the best Chris in the MCU. Fight me on that. There is no way this should be as low as #12.

F: Okay you have a problem with all of my rankings. Chris Pratt is a sweetheart (despite the occurences of Infinity War (more on that later.)) It was a great movie but eh, I feel indifferent about it.

C: This was the (2nd) most fun I’ve had at a Marvel film, but I respect your opinion. Diplomatic discussion!

#8: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Carson’s Ranking: #8

Fatima’s Ranking: #8

F: Sighhh, I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It might be because I love Tom Holland. I also love Zendaya. I also love Michael Keaton! I just love the cast for this movie. It was relatable and fun, but I might sound like every other generation Z kid when I say this but…this is the best Spiderman movie.

C:  A Spiderman movie without the origin story. Thank god. I’m so thankful for Tom Holland in all his glory. No disagreements with you here. This is my favorite Spiderman film.

#7: Captain America: The First Avenger

Carson’s Ranking: #13

Fatima’s Ranking: #3

C: I just don’t get it Fatima. How could this be so high for you?

F: I love this movie!! This is my sick day movie. One of my all time favorites Marvel movies, Chris Evans was amazing in it. The effects used for his transformation were awesome.

C: Captain America has never been the most interesting hero to me, and I have a disdain for most origin movie stories. I could just never get that into this one.

F: This movie literally has your least favorite things in it. I suppose I understand your opposition.

C: I appreciate your understanding. I wouldn’t classify it as opposition, just indifference.

#6: Iron-Man

Carson’s Ranking: #10

Fatima’s Ranking: #5

F: The first Marvel movie I ever watched, this movie opened the floodgates into the Marvel world for me. The origin story of Iron Man will always have a place in my heart, and although it might be slightly predictable it’s still charming.

C: I love the first half of Iron Man. I could watch Tony building a suit in that cave all day. The movie takes a predictable turn in the second half, but it’ll still have a place in my heart just as well. Without this movie, I wouldn’t be wasting my time writing this story with you today.

F: We love you Marvel!

C: Please notice us.

F: Notice me senpai…

#5: The Avengers

Carson’s Ranking: #9

Fatima’s Ranking: #6

C: I love the Avengers. I really do. However, the biggest aspect the film had going for it was the spectacle of seeing our favorite heroes together for the first time. With the increasing amount of crossovers between films now, the magic of this movie has worn off on me. I still love the film, but it’s not as good as it once was in my eyes. Lot’s of criticism for a film in our top 5.

F: I think it is in our top five mainly because it had so much going for it when it first came out. It’s like the trusty grandma that used to be beautiful but is just old now.

C: This movie had something we need more of however. Please give us Hawkeye back.

F: I want Hawkeye back!! Also why didn’t they do deaf Clint Barton, Marvel, how dare you?

#4: Avengers: Infinity War

Carson’s Ranking: #6

Fatima’s Ranking: #4

F: We have an entire article about this movie so just go read that. It was awesome and emotional, blah blah blah.

C: I will however add that watching the movie’s ending to the tune of ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ is indeed a life changing experience.

F: How do you type a laughing emoji on this thing??

#3: Captain America: Winter Soldier

Carson’s Ranking: #1

Fatima’s Ranking: #8

C: This is the best MCU film. How could this film be so low for you? This was the true breakout role for Black Widow, who comes into her own here. It features the introduction of Bucky Barnes, the reveal of Hydra, and some of the best action of the series. This is the most grounded film in the MCU, with higher emotional stakes, and I absolutely love it.

F: I can’t believe this is number one for you. It was good but predictable in the worst way. Literally nothing about this movie surprised me. Fury is dead! Oh no we’re good!

C: Marvel has been faking deaths for a long time now. I’m surprised this one got to you.

F: I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

C: The greatness of this movie isn’t its surprises, but it’s execution. The tone of the film, the expansion of Steve Rogers’ character, it’s amazing action, the introduction of Bucky Barnes- it’s all great!

F: Eh

#2: Thor: Ragnarok

Carson’s Ranking: #4

Fatima’s Ranking: #1

F: THIS MOVIE!

C: I agree.

F: Moving on. Just watch the movie. It speaks for itself.

#1: Black Panther

Carson’s Ranking: #2

Fatima’s Ranking: #2

C: Here we are. Despite neither of us placing it at #1, Black Panther sits atop our list. Black Panther more than earns its spot here, as director Ryan Coogler directed a near masterpiece. The film has something going for it that most MCU films don’t: subtlety. The subtext and themes of the movie are rich, and Killmonger is my personal favorite Marvel villain.  Unfortunately, an anticlimactic between Black Panther and Killmonger in the final act bogs the film down slightly. The movie that sparked conversation all over our country sits atop our list. What do you think Fatima?

F: I love how this is the only movie on our list that got actual analysis from us. It was epic start to finish. Michael B. Jordan is a beautiful human being who I respect very much. Shuri is the Disney princess I wish I could’ve had as a child.

C: Everyone in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is a beautiful human being.

F:  Further reasoning that I should be cast in a future Marvel film. Hit me up Russo brothers!

That’s our list! This is the last story we will write together, so I hope you enjoyed it. Do disagree with us? Well, we don’t care because this list is definitive, but leave a comment telling us anyway!